When I was eight years old my mudder had my bruddah. Hoo..at first was good cause I neva have to watch him and change his stinky diapers. But den da dreaded "Big Brother" syndrome wen strike.I suddenly became da built in babysitter. You gotta figah dat by da time he wuz 8 years old I was 16 with raging hormones and big eyeballs fo' da wahines... You gotta figah too, a fixed accessory to da family station wagon when I had one date..was my baby brother in da back seat!! My old man was smart like one mongoose..you can bet no hankypanky in da back seat wit my baby bruddah with big eyeballs watching.
"Ok son, you like use da car? Hea take da keys and no forget your bruddah going wit you..in fact he stay already in da car !!" Daddy said.
Da equvilent of safe sex for me was baby bruddah in da back seat. And you know he gave one complete report to Daddy wen we got home. "and ...and...he neva stop at da stop sign..and ...and...he wen try burn rubbah in da parking lot by da school!!" That report got me grounded for 2 weekends. If neva have stiff penalty for twisting off da head of your baby bruddah...he would have one funny shape neck and indentations in his head today!!!
Da days went by quick like one swift..the time blending into soft colors of leaves changing on da mango tree... the Waimea river running by the house in one steady flow..childhood into manhood...our island town growing into a busy metropolis. Suddenly my job became a "Career" and it took me away from my Island.
Baby Bruddah called me from his home in Honolulu this weekend. His voice clear and warm. "Eh, Hawaiian," he said, "long time no smell, brah!! Just 'cuz you stay on da mainland you forget how to dial da phone or wot?? " "Aloha, Brah," I said laughing, "It's great to hear your voice." "Eh, no act," he said "don't make me call Daddy and tell him you wen put one ding in da station wagon again!!" "Oh no, please don't do that, brah!" I said. "Ok den," he laughed, "if you were going to give me any heat I was going tell him something else. You know he still doesn't know about the time you and da Haole girl was kissing at da movies." We both laughed until I had tears in my eyes...and I knew by his voice shaking just a little that he had some water in his eyes too. "Ok, just checking up on you, boy", he said to me sternly. "I still remember da time you wen ducktape my hair..I always have that one I neva tell too!!
We began another session of contagious laughter...
I celebrated my 50th birthday this year...It's been a long journey from the North Shore of Oahu to Simi Valley, California...I've been through so many changes in my life...thankfully one thing has not changed ...
.......I still have my baby bruddah !!
About Author
Kamaka Brown was born and raised in Hawaii. Childhood years were spent in Waimea Valley on the North Shore of Oahu. Now a California resident he has not forgotten his Island roots. He writes and performs local style comedy at concerts and clubs around Southern California.