I was juss one simple plantation "boysan" back in da day. I grew up in one humble famly on da Waialua Shugah Plantation. My faddah iz Ilocano wid some adda stuff. My muddah wuz Samoan wid some English o some kinda mixtcha from Europe, bless her haht .

Anyway, auwa lass name should have been, "Tupua," since we wuz kinda, well "too puwa" . My muddah use to tell me, "Eh, Boysan, weya yo pants tree times a week befo you put'em in da hampah, heh! Juss altanate'em every adda day."

So, I dunno if da weya and teya of my clodes wen give dem plenny puka inside'em but I made good use of'em. I had my favorite brown Quick Silvah surfah shawts. I had my favorite Tie-Die Chicken Fight tee-shirt from Carzy Shirts Hawai'i . I even had my favorite kamaboko slippahz -- da buggah was tree inch tick witch made me lil bit mo tall since I was kinda pitot.

But, I had dis one favorite brown, Levi's twill bell-bottom pants in da seventies dat I really liked. Da buggah flared out about one foot wide down to my luau feet. Had one small puka right by my left ty but I still wen like 'em. Da problem wuz dat my oldah sistah Heddah used to steel da friggin pants from me all da time. I was kinda pizz-off.

One day, she wuz bold enough fo wear'em in front of me on da way to school. I said, "Eh, sistah! take off my pants an put'em back in my room!" Heddah said, "No way Babooz! Dis my pants!" We went on fo couple tree o fo mo sentences and den, "BOOM!" we wen tro blos -- beef, la'dat. I wen grab her leg and yank her down to da flo-wah . She wen huli and drop down hahd on da wooden flo-wah. Needless-to-say, she had some choice words fo me, words dat I no can repeat because I no like yo keikis to read'em cuz bumbye you goin' track me down and kick my okole. Okay, so I digress.

Den, Heddah wen trip me and I wen fall do da flo-wah. "BOOM!" I wen huli on top her too. I wen pin her down and den I stahted fo unbutton da pants and try fo pull'em down. I wuz pulling and pulling an all of a sudden "Ripppp!", my fingah wen get caught in da small puka and da ting wen open up about five inches by da ty.

"See, stoopid hed" she wen screem, "You wen rip my pants!" "Oh, yo pants?! Yo pants my eye," I wen shout back, "Az wuz my pants, tita!"

Yup, we had mo French words fo shayah until finally, Heddah said, "Eh Bruddah! You realize we fighting ovah one stinking paya of pants?" I wen laugh, "Az right, sis. As juss one friggin' paya of puka pants." Ho cuz, evendo we made up, I wuz still pizz-off becuz I wen miss my puka pants fo long time.

My lesson about dat day iz, "Weya iz dat puka pants now, wen puka puka clodes stay in style wid today's kids? I could probably chahge sevendy-five bucks fo dat friggin rag!"

This story is dedicated to my sistah Heather in Florida

Steve Yagyagan was born on O'ahu's Northshore. He lived in Kawailoa (Haleiwa) but mostly in da Waialua Sugar Plantation Mill Camps. He graduated in 1979 from Waialua High & Intermediate School, San Francisco State University (BA in Broadcast communications) and The University of Phoenix (MA in Org. Mgmt.). His SAG screen name is Steven Kane and he has been in Magnum PI, Silk Stalkings, Pensacola Wings of Gold as well as on many radio and television voice-overs. He has been in two stage plays in Hawaii as well. His current project is a book about growing up on the Waialua Sugar Plantation. He makes his home now in San Diego, California with his wife Regina Bangalan (Campbell and Encinal High Schools '81) and their two children, Matthew Joseph-Keoni and Gabrielle Nohelani.