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Written by Richard Costales

User Rating: 5 / 5

In da ol days, wen I use to live on Maui, I used to live wit my beeg sista in uppa Paia. Da town was called Orpheum Camp. I donno wai but only filipinos lived there. Funny yeah, how all da difarent people had dare own sexshen. Oh, I had any kine frens, Japanese, Chinese, Potagees, Blahlahs, mixup kine and I tink dat was all. Oh, had a cupula haoles but they was da nuns an da preest at Holy Rosary. Da nuns could be real mean buggahs sumtimes, boy. One wanted to trow me outsai da window one time fo playing milk cavas while everybody else was praying. Dat wud be sista MaryAnn, firrs grade.

Anyhooo, you know in doz daiz nevah had tolets in da house. My sistahs house had wan beeg tolet. Had a two holah, da kine wit the running watah in a deech on da bottom to wash da kukai down to I dunno whea. Behine wan wall had da shawa and the wash tub fo washing owa close. I use to be real skaid to use da tolet because da puka look beeg and I skaid fall insai. Look duc insai an smell steenk, too.

I was ten an my nefew was five an we was playing undah da guava tree. We stutted to chase sum ducks. We had plenty in a pen fo eat butt sumtime dey bucaloose. We gotta go chase 'em back insai da pen. Anyway, dah ducks run anyplace and we go chasing dem buggahs all ova da place like nuts. Sumbody had go leave the doa open to da tolet an one beeg wan, wit da beeg red stuff by his nose had go run insai. We navah see'um go insai. Aftah we had get the uddah ducks in the pen, we tought we pau so we go play summo.

My sistah had go insai da tolet fo sumting. Wen she come outsai she tole us to put the duck back in da pen. We wen insai da tolet. I close da doa an I tole him,"okay, go chas'um". He chas'um all ova the tolet and I only laugh up. My neffew, had conah da duck right infrunt da tolet-hole so, I had go try help'um catch'um. Aiii, da duck had bucaloose again an had fall down the tolet. Wen I had look down da puka, I cud heah heem splashing aroun. Eh, you tink I goin down dere to go bring heem up? Sucka! I tole my neffew just no make noise and no tell nobody cuz da duck goin maki cuz so steenk down dea. An den we wen go play summo by the guava tree.

Wen came duk, we wen insai da house fo go eat. Afta dat I tole my sistah dat we tired an dat we goin bayfe in da monning. We was surprised dat she let us do dat.

I dunno wat time was, but was real duk. I heard some beeg noise in da palla and my brudda inlaw was mad about sumting an making beeg noise. Now, my bruddah inlaw was a beeg guy fo one filipino man, an to make tings mo worse, he had ass'ma.

He had just came back from da tolet. Man, he bus in da room and stutted to geev us good likkins wit one skinny kine guava branch. As he was giving us likkins, he was saying something like "I almos had a hut attak, you bagguhs!". He kept saying dat ova and ova an each time he said dat he whack us wit da guava branch. Awa okoles was soa for a long time afta dat.

I gass his um had get sowa so he tole us fo go sleep and dat we bettah get da duck outah deah firss ting in da monning. We wen go in da room but we nevah go sleep. Just tinking what had happen wen he had sit on da tolet an wat da duc wen do. We look at each uddah and den we stutted to laff, and laff hud. You know da kine laff, da kine whea no mo sound come out only get teahs. We wen go sleep late dat night but we nevah foget dat day. I wunda how he 'no was us..

My sista and bruddah inlaw maki now but I goin always remembah dem and wat had happen dat time in Orpheum Camp in Paia.

Richard Costales was born on Maui and grew up in Pearl City and Kailua-Kona. Graduated from Waipahu High School '57. He was in the Air Force for 4 years. He now lives in Petaluma, CA with his wife and 3 daughters. He plans on moving back to Hawaii when his youngest graduates from high school. "You guys just dunno how much I laugh reading da udda hanabuddah stories!"

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Written by Gary Valdez

User Rating: 2 / 5

I grew up in Maili (Wai'anae) back den same posz office. I can recamembah all da kolohe tings we did. All da hales wuz built by da company "Hick Homes". Remember Tongue & Groove (T&G)? Eree time I tink of deez hales I tink of da Filipino workahs. You kno dey good wit deah hands, eh! Sumtimes dey moody too! We uzed to do kolohe tings to deez guys. I can recamembah one ting. Da ting preddy funny.

My boiz, Kali, hiz brahdah Kalani, Small boy, Cha-lay boy and me had a goodtime wit da Filipino workers. Dey wuz tryin to build one hale outtah T&G down da lane. Aftah all da ownah wuz japanese (plenny kala) and he wuz payin for it. We gave'um hahd times!!!

Me and da boiz uzd to sit onda junk cahs (wen not play chasz mestah) and try fo get back at da Filipino workers, cause dey all stay moody everytime. Dey all no say "Hi" or "Hello". Every time we pas'um aftah school, we say "Hi" (u kno show da aloha spirit), dey no say "Hi". No response. K-den! We get'um. Dis wuz befo ahwah mahdah and fahdah came home from work, yuzzilly around 1630 hrs (4:30 pm fo you civilian minded people). Waht we deed wuz eef you look in da inside upholstery of da cah and you strip da fabric off, u goin see sum 1/4 " metal bahs dat holds da fabric up. We yuzd to uz dose bahs az da bow. Guess whea da arroh came from? You guestit! Da lumbah (T&G)! We yuzzd to strip da male an female ends off. Dey keep buyin moah lumbah. Dats ok, dey can keep supplying us with ammo.

Den we yuzzd to get my fahdahs hamma an nails outtah his tool shed an pound da bahgah until it wuz flat fo make da arroh-head. We made plenny fo ahwah frenz also. We tie da bahgah wit whyah to ahwah arroh. An den again wen into my fahdahs tool shed to grab his waxed strings fo string ahwah bow. Den we wait.

Aftah da Filipino workers wen home we yuzzd to make da new hale roof ahwah target. Den we go back down to da new hale an get ahwah arrohs back. We couldn't climb da hale cuz nomo latahs uz dey take'um home evrry time. So we jes wen pik-up da ones on da ground. Mistake! Aftah we stahted dat, we yuzzd to watch da filipino guys walk around da lumbah tryin to figgah out how dey goin finish da hale, cause dey cannot put da walls (lumbah) togeddah. So dey go buy summo. Ha!! Ha!!

We yuzzd to say to each ahdah. "Look ... look dey stay all confused! Ha! Ha!" Finally, aftah couple of weeks of "Indirect-Fire" attacks, we had to tone down ahwah attack an evenchully stop, cause bumby we get caught, eh! An u kno what? We forgot to pik-up ahwah arrohs. Da ones on da hale. Da next day aftah we wen stop, I stay watchin da guys work from ahwah front yahd. Den all of a sudden, I watch dis Filipino guy climb up da lattah 2 da roof. Wen he got to da top, oh boy, auwe! He stahted talkin Filipino. Me, I Filipino, but no undahstand Filipino (only eat da food), but I kno he wuszent sayin "how good job dey deed on da roof" or "let's have lunch". You can imagine waht he saw. You guessed it. All ahwah creativity. Ahwah arrohs! Boy, dat Filipino guy wuz talking fast, an we nevah even get caught. Too good, eh?

So, eef you are a carpenter by trade an sumhow gottah work wit T&G in building one hale, always check your lumbah an roof everyday. Deah might be anahdah Gary, Kali, Kalani, Small-boy, or cha lay-boy in da neybahood.

You kno nowah days, sad da keeds nomo dat kine space to play in Hawai'i. Da housing too close, too tight in da city. Dey gottah live out in da countryside! Dey gottah be creative! Growing up in Maili wuz a blast.

Gary Valdez grew up in Maili/Wai'anae, Oahu. (Wai'anae High School '71). He is now living in Liggett, California. He is stationed at Fort Hunter. He is on his way to American Samoa to report for duty.

Juss doin' my time, and waiting fo dem to kick me uttah da Army ... miss Hawai'i, but will be back soon, hopefully!

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Written by Armand Ines

User Rating: 5 / 5

This story wasn't from when I was small kid time but I thought it would be funny to share it with da ohana.

If you are from Hawaii, you must know all about the Filipino accent (buk buk accent). We were raised with all those Filipino jokes and culture. My story sounds mo better in person but I will try as best as I can to spell out the "accents".

It happened back in '95 when I was still working at Long's Drugs. Every now and then you run into those customers with bad accents. Some are easy to understand, but other times it's just too hard!

One day this old Filipino lady came up to me and said, "Excuse me boy, whea is dee SOOS?" I thought she said SAUCE so I said, "Oh, wat kine SAUCE?" She replied, "Dee CLEANER." I got all confused and said, "Da CLEANER?" She replies, "Yeah!" So she then takes me to where she usually gets this SOOS. When we got there, we ended up in the aisle with the mops, sponges, and scrubbers. She then pointed to an empty shelf. When I realized what item belonged there I tried not to buss out laughing. I then said, "Ohhhhhhh, you mean da S.O.S.!!" She said, "Yeah dee SOOS."

Another incident was when this other Filipino lady came up to me and asked, "Hoy, whea is your KAKAROATS?" Then I said, "COCKROACH?" She replied,"Yeah." So I then take her to the Raid and roach sprays. Then she got small kine piss off and said, "NO, dee CEREAL!" So I'm thinking, "WHAT?" and I asked, "COCKROACH CEREAL?" She says, "Yeah, da one on sale!" All confused, I looked at the ad for a CEREAL. Then again I tried not to laugh and said, "Ohhhhh, the QUAKER OATS!" She replys, "Yeah, da KAKAROATS!"

One of my co-workers back then was named LIEZL(pronounced LIE ZELL). But at work she used another name instead. One day her fadda (had one bad accent too) came in da store and asked another co-worker, "Whea is LIEZL?" Then my friend took him to da LYSOL disinfectants!

I tried telling my aunty these stories but she already knew what I was talking about before I got to da punchline. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my stories and share them with other local people. There were plenny more incidents but these were the top three. Aloha and Take care!

Armand Ines originally is from Milililani, Oahu. (Moanalua '92 and Leeward Community College) He moved to Washington state in 1998 to work as a graphic designer. After graduating from the Art Institute of Seattle last year he settled in Tacoma. "Keep spreading the aloha!"

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Written by Dayna Kauwalu Sanchez

User Rating: 5 / 5

I would say that the best moments in my life were growing up on the North Shore of Oahu. My grandpa would wake me up early in the morning before the sun came up to go "holo holo" with him and be his "bag girl".

We would load up his green fishing truck (the one with the bulldog on the hood) with all his throw nets, buckets, and coolers for ice. Dressed in swimming clothes (bathing suit top and shorts) and grandpa in his fishing shorts and tabbies, off we would go to look for the fish. Sometimes we would stop at Banzai Bowl in Haleiwa for breakfast.

He would go to his favorite fishing spots between Kaena Pt. and Kawela Bay, depending on the time of year, and look for fish. I would watch him as he watched the Manini, Moi or sometimes Kala from the sand. He would get his net ready to throw as he would crouch down so the fish would not see him. He would slowly walk into the water on the reef. Then just as a wave was about to break over the right spot he would throw his net out over the fish.

As I watched him I could imagine our ancestors doing the same thing so many years ago. He would slowly pick up the net and bring it on shore to take out the fish. If there was plenty he would throw the small ones back and say "nough, we go home". If there weren't enough to feed the family we would try somewhere else. It was always that way with my grandpa, "only enough to feed the family". He did not take more than we needed but if there was more than enough he would share with the neighbors. The fish was never wasted.

My grandma would be waiting for us at home with breakfast. We would eat then was time to clean fish. Boy do I remember cleaning those fish. The fish guts (especially Manini) were so stink, I used to wear a rag over my nose so I could breathe. Sometimes I would get scoldings from my grandpa because I was "acting Lolo" but I would stick it out and we would clean all the fish that we brought home.

Grandma would dry some if we had Halalu, or make poke with the Nenue, or salt and pepper fry the Manini and Akule. I always looked forward to dinner that night because I knew it would be ono!

Over the years I've traveled to Europe and all over the United States and experienced things my grandparents never did. I've grown to appreciate the simple things in life that I took for granted while growing up. I am fortunate to have these memories.I will share them with my children one day but until then, just thinking about fishing with Grandpa and my hanabuddah days will do.

Dayna Kauwalu Sanchez grew up on the North Shore of Oahu. She went to Waialua High School ('87) and shortly thereafter joined the Air Force. While in the service she traveled to Europe and various parts of the "states". In 1995 she moved back home to Oahu. She is now married, has "two kids" and lives near "Velzey Land", a popular surfing spot on the North Shore of Oahu. She is raising her children to appreciate the home she knew as a keiki o ka aina.

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Written by Frank D. Ramirez

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The days of my youth in Damon Tract were the best times of my life. If you do not know where Damon Tract is, or were born after Hawaii became a state, you better talk with your parents or grandparents.

When I was real young, about 6 or 7 years old, my older bradas and friends did some real mean and naughty things. This group included my older bradas, my cousin Leo and our across the street friend, Tote. My older brada Marty was the ringleader, he was the type who did not say much. He did most of his talking with actual deeds. He would have his gang follow-up with the dirty works.

Devilish deeds always occurred when there was something special going on like parties or holidays. Like when my uncle Delmar got married or when our next door neighbors had their weekly chicken-fights in the back yard, and not to be forgotten, the Christmas holidays.

I like start with our Christmas episode. Our house was located on the main street (P Road) where the bus route was. Our house front and back yard was real big. Our back door neighbors would cut across our back yard to the front yard to catch the bus on P road.

One year I think it was 1950, my two bradas, Marty and Richard. and their friend Tote went set up our famous "Garage to breadfruit tree boobytrap".

The trap was very simple. They took some burlap ricebags and filled it with all kine of stuff. Things like my brada Marty's pigeon droppings (kaka), some duck and chicken feathers, small kine rocks, sand and dirt plus some few rotten eggs from our so-called unproductive ducks, and other contaminated materials which I cannot remember. The filled burlap bag or bags would be hoisted and positioned on the breadfruit tree branch in the middle of the path or trail near the garage. Dem guys knew how to use pulleys and heavy duty rope linked from the breadfruit tree to the main house that was about 40 yards away.

The idea was to use a spotter or lookout guy so that a signal could be given well in advance. Whenever a person was nearing the area and once in the kill zone, the bag would be dropped. I can still remember how wonderful this trap worked. We all were young and irresponsible and no care who we damaged. To us it was so funny. Me laughing so much my bradas, cousin Leo and Tote telling me to shut up. It seems like all the times we pulled this off, it only hit our old Filipino neighbors.They would cuss and swear in broken-kine Filipino while they tried to clean up after all the dirty "goodies" in the ricebag opened on them. My bradas had real good lickens, we had to give up with the trap.

Other mean and nasty deeds they often performed was like when there was a party going on in the neighborhood. My brada Marty along with his sidekick Tote would act like John Wayne. They would throw rotten duck eggs around the party area and watch with sheer delight all the screaming, disgusted people react.

We used to play with our other neighbor friends like Baby Francis and his brada who lived next door to Tote's family. My brada Marty and Tote would play with this little girl, her name was "Josy" and I think she was around my age (6 or 7) years old. She always like stay and play with the boys, and she no like go home. So, one time my brada them guys would have her dance for them and for her to take her clothes off. This went on for awhile until one time her mother caught my brada,Tote and the odda guys. She was real angry. She went and told our parents, my brada got real good-kine lickens again from our father.

The gang and some odda neighbor friends also played a game called, "Tree-tag". In the middle of our yard towards the back, we had this real big, old Tamarind tree with branches all over the roof. Whoever was "it" would have to tag or touch whomever they could in the tree. The rule of the game was that, you had to stay in the tree, no can touch the ground or anything. We would all climb like crazy to get away and the idea was to be the last one to be tagged. Tote would always win the game. He climbed and moved like a real monkey. Nobody could climb as fast or go to the top of the tree like he could, several times some of the guys would try to copy Tote, only to fall to the ground.

When times was slow and there was nothing to do in the afternoon, the older guys would hang around our back yard and play "peeping tom" to the house adjacent to our house and watch this real pretty girl in her room getting ready to take a shower or something.

There, however, was some less than mischievous things we did. Every Sunday morning, my two bradas and Tote would allow themselves a day of grace with the good Lord by changing their mischievous demeanor and don the Roman Catholic Alterboy outfit. They would serve Mass with the priest of St. Philamena Catholic Church on "T" road in Damon Tract.

To the best of my recollection Sundays was a holy day for us and we were required to maintain cleanliness and stay proper as dictated by our very strict parents.

Over the years, as I return to the islands, and fly into Honolulu International Airport, I can still remember the kolohe stuffs we did. I still see and hear the sounds of joy and laughter of the old Damon Tract where our house on 477 "P" road once stood.

Frank D. Ramirez, born at St. Francis Hospital, Honolulu. Attended St. Anthony's Catholic School. Moved to San Diego, CA. Graduated from Mar Vista High School, Imperial Beach, CA and San Diego State College. Was drafted into the US Army, attended Armor Branch Officer's Candidate School, received 2LT Commission, served tours in South Korea, & South Vietnam. Now working with the United States Postal Services in Suisun City, CA. Enjoys fishing, hiking, reading and playing golf. Has a lovely son with gifted abilities to go along with his BS degree in Digital Photography from Brooks Institute, Santa Barbara, CA.

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Written by Leiton S. Hashimoto

When I was a small child between the ages of 2-3, both my parents used to work full-time, so they used to drop me off at my Grandma's (my Mom's mom) house in Palolo. My Mom's oldest sister lived with my Grandma and since my aunty also had to go to work, Grandma was responsible for watching me every day until either my Mom or Dad picked me up after work.

Going to Grandma's was always an experience. Every day, I followed her everywhere she went (except when she went to the toilet). Whether she was watching TV, or going in the yard to pull weeds, I was right by her side. Of course, when I took my afternoon nap, Grandma was on her own and I have no idea what she did while I was sleeping.

Since my parents would drop me off early in the morning, usually, when I got to Grandma's, she was having coffee. Unbeknownst to my parents for the longest time, Grandma used to give me a cup of coffee with cream and sugar in it. I didn't know coffee wasn't good for me. All I knew was that the coffee Grandma gave me tasted good ... like candy. What made drinking coffee even more fun was that my Grandma taught me to dip a slice of white bread into the coffee before eating it. This was my breakfast a lot of the time.

The highlight of my day at Grandma's every day was right after lunch when the Pupuman used to come up her street. For those of you who don't know who the Pupuman is, he is the one that drives the truck with the fold-up sides with his market-on-wheels. He had vegetables, eggs, and bread, the things everyone needed on a daily basis. Of course, for the kids, he also had a variety of candies. He would go around the neighborhoods and stop so the people that couldn't get to the market often would be able to buy things for themselves. To announce his arrival to your neighborhood, he would toot his horn with the same rhythmic combination every day. When we heard those distinctive tones, we knew the Pupuman was near.

My Grandma would go to see the Pupuman everyday, not because she always had to buy something, but because all the neighborhood women would gather there to talk story. They would spend time talking with each other and the Pupuman so they could catch up on the latest gossip.

Well, every now and then, when the Pupuman would come up my Grandma's street, she would take me out there and she would buy me a Tomoe Ame candy box. This is the candy that had the edible clear wrapping around the chewy sweet candy. Of course, that's not why everyone remembers Tomoe Ame candy. They remembered Tomoe Ame candy because of the toy that was inside the one end of the box. And for me, I would look forward to those days when my Grandma would buy me a Tomoe Ame.

I learned to eat different kinds of foods at Grandma's, but the ones I remember the most are green mangoes with shoyu and black pepper, plain mochi with shoyu and sugar, and kinako mochi. You see, there was a huge Hayden mango tree in the front yard of my Grandma's house and it gave a lot of fruit every year. My Grandma used to pick the green mangoes, cut a few up, and eat them with shoyu and black pepper. Since Grandma ate them that way, I ate them that way too.

Right after New Year's, Grandma would have a lot of mochi because they would pound mochi at her house and Grandma would have some to eat afterwards. She would either eat the plain mochi with shoyu and sugar or make kinako mochi and eat it that way. Again, since Grandma ate the mochi that way, so did I.

These things continued until I was 4, then I went to pre-school, so I didn't get to go to Grandma's during the day. I do remember that whenever I did go to my Grandma's after that, I still drank coffee with the bread, ate green mangoes, and ate mochi the way Grandma did.

My parents and my aunty did find out that my Grandma was giving me coffee, so that eventually stopped. But even though my Grandma couldn't give me coffee with cream and sugar anymore, I still remember the days when I used to sit at her kitchen table and dip my white bread in the coffee and enjoy the taste of the mushy bread and the coffee.

Leiton "Barney" Hashimoto was born and raised in Honolulu, Hawaii. He graduated from Iolani ('76) and University of Denver. In 1987 he moved to Gardena, California. Leiton is employed at Sempra Energy. He is an active board member of the Japanese American Optimist Club of Los Angeles, as well as the Nisei Week Japanese Festival.

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Written by Gary Ignacio

Growing up in the Filipino camp of Aiea we were privy to many things. Our family knew everyone ... every Filipino that is. We weren't rich but our family made every effort to enjoy Hawaii (America) as much as possible. It seems that every time someone would visit from the mainland or the Philippines we were the host family. We would pack up a picnic and make trips "around the island". The most fun times were taking guests to Waikiki to see the shows at night.

One of my most fond memories was what we did after we went holo holo downtown. Almost every Saturday night we would head out to the "Civic Center" to watch professional wrestling with family and friends.

The dark hallways, the noisy bathrooms, gummy floors and the microphone slowly making it's way down from the ceiling to the announcer, (was it Ed Francis?) all made for a great evening. The wrestling was fun and everyone got into it even "Ikit", the aunties. Us kids just loved it. The show lasted about an hour and a half. It was all "good fun" as mom used to say.

Although we were having a great time my mind was really thinking of something else. I could just taste it. It was warm and sweet. It smelled really good and it was making me smile. I couldn't wait for the fights to end so that we could get that Saturday night snack.

When the fights were finally over, we all jumped into the station wagon. Dad would turn around and asked if everybody had a good time, we'd all yell "YES" and he'd drive off. The older folks would be talking about the fight and who beat who and who should have won. Us kids would be "make believe" wrestling in the back.

Soon dad would pull over to the curb and mom would look in her purse for a few dollars. An older cousin would get out, mom would hand him the money and he'd run across the street. We'd sit across the street right by Farrington High School and talk story till he got back. In a few minutes he would jump back in, holding "da goodies". Soon we were headed home. The car would smell really nice and we couldn't wait to get into the house.

Once we got into the house everyone would run into the "pala" and sit around the small table. Mom would come in with a dish of butter, place it on the table along with the package that we had just brought home.We'd pass the napkins and dig into the bag.

Boy, what a treat! HOT BREAD from Liberty Bakery. We'd break a piece off from the whole loaf and pile on the butter. The bread was warm, buttery and sweet.

What a great way to end the night. This was the best bread in town, at midnight anyway. We stayed up till the bread was all gone then go off to bed. Yeah, that bread was good. Breaking into a whole hot loaf was fun. I hope this brings back some fond memories to those that had the "BREAD" from Liberty Bakery in Kalihi. It was long ago but I still can remember when we used to go ... holo holo after "da fights."

Gary "Iggy" Ignacio grew up in Aiea, Oahu in a "Filipino Camp". He attended St. Louis High School ('79). He has many memories about growing up on the Leeward side of the Island. He recalls picking up bitter melons in the pineapple fields, gathering limu at Ewa Beach, going to the small Japanese store by his house and more. In 1986 he opened "Iggy's Hawaiian Café and Catering" in Orange County, California. He soon discovered that catering is "mo ee zee". "Iggy's" now caters the "ALOHA" spirit in central and southern California and the Dallas/Fort Worth area. What is he doing now? "Living by the beach and being a Waikiki beach boy in Ventura, California" is his answer!

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Written by Linda "Lika" Relacion Oosahwe

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In high school one time, one night; my two girlfriends and me went cruising with these three guys in one old 53 Chevy or some old car la dat. The three guys sat in the front and us three girls in da back. We were cracking up cause somebody said look like us was going chicken fight.

Somebody suggested us go cruise North Shore. So us went. As we passed Waimea Bay one of the guys said, "us go up Pupukea Heiau". Den one of the other guys turned to us and said, "Eh, nobody get dey rags hah?" Us no like be killjoy so we all was "no, not me." I know I no had mines. But I knew for fact somebody else did.

So we reached up the Heiau and was parked parallel to one stone wall. We got outta da car and was talking story, just shooting da breeze. It was dead quiet and pitch black. Some of us sat on the wall and some on the hood of the car. We were laughing and joking around. All of a sudden one the guys said "Sshhhhh, did you guys hea dat?" We all got quiet and listened. No had nothing. So we all started taking story any kind again.

After a few minutes he yelled again, "shutup, listen!" We quieted down. "Eh no ack, you just trying fo'make us scared?" So us started talking and laughing again. Afta about five minutes we all wen shutup on our own because we heard one big deep thump. An'den another big deep THUMP!. And a'nada. Somebody whispered "pahu drums". We all was frozen in our tracks listening to one big thump afta a'nada.

We snapped out of our frozen state when the driva said, "Us betta go." We all jumped in the car. The driver turned the key and it wouldn't turn ova. Us girls was all squirming in da backseat as if we had to go shi-shi whining "hurry up". The car just whined like it had asthma. Finally one of da guys yelled, "Everybody jump out and push, us can kick start'em down da hill."

We all jumped out of the car and froze as we noticed the drum sound was way softer then it was a while before. The driver yelled, "EH PUSH!" We all started pushing. Till somebody yelled "jump in!" We jumped in as the car rolled down hill, the driver popped the clutch and the car started. It was silent all the way to Haleiwa. Finally one of da guys turned around towards us and said, "Eh one of you guys get your rags hah?" We all denied it. And I swear, it wasn't me.

Since we had cruised from Waipahu to Wahiawa via Kunia Road; to get back to Waipahu we went da ada way towards Kipapa Gulch. Den one of da guys said, "us go Mililani." All at da same time everybody said, "SHUTUP!" Back in da day when you said Mililani you was talking about da graveyard not one town. Da graveyard was deya way before da town.

So da story was, if you go Mililani afta midnight; you would see the Virgin Mary statue walking around. We figure we had enuff chicken skin for one night and neva tink us was going Mililani.

But as we approached the turn off, the driver turned into Mililani. Us girls in the backseat was all bitching and moaning,

"You stupid guys nuffawreaddy."
"No stop da car, you betta not pok!"
"Yo' betta keep driving."
"Hurry up man."
"Us all going get bachi."

We cruised through Mililani in its quietest and darkest phase. You could see flecks of white, reflections of gravestones. You could see the Virgin Mary statue as peaceful as can be. We cruised slowly around the circle. All of us keeping our eyes on the statue.

We were headed out of the area when the driver slammed on the breaks, turned off the lights and yelled, "Behind you!" Us girls was screaming and trying to turn around at da same time. Even da guys in front was yelling. We were just screaming bloody murder as da car idled in pitch black. The screaming stopped and the cussing started when we realized da driva was juss bussass laughing all by himself. It wasn't funny. Well it was after the fact. It wasn't funny when it was happening. I pretty most shi-shi my pants. I was scared. And I SWEAR wasn't me who had da kine.

Linda "Lika" Relacion Oosahwe was born at Queens Hospital raised in Fernandez Village/Ewa and Waipahu. She currently lives in Gardnerville, NV. She has three children; Quannee Mokihana, Star Leinaala, and Keokuk Hokule'a a.k.a Quan, STA & BoBOY! A palm reader once told her she would have three husbands. She's way behind, she still working on her first one and it's been 26 years!! When she grows up she wants to be "financially independent" currently she is "financially embarrassed!"

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